If there are memberships that I would berate myself for not having thought twice about, it would be the membership of a few WhatsApp groups. Sure, WhatsApp has become the most popular platform for a textual representation of a cacophonic phone call, but sometimes it makes you feel like hurling the phone across the room or consider putting your phone permanently on silent mode. And in these WhatsApp groups, one might come across several varieties of characters – and these are the most interesting characters I have encountered on the several WhatsApp groups I am on, over the years.
#1 The enthusiastic uncle
This character is more centrally found in the ‘family’ groups – and is the life and soul of them. One might find the enthusiastic uncle spending all of his free time thinking up verses in his mother tongue to send on the group. The enthusiastic uncle is the foundation of such ‘Family’ groups and tries to liven up the otherwise dead atmosphere, occasionally earning a few exasperated sighs and irritated rants.
#2 The Forward-message freak
One can count on this person to forward all those “please share to save a life” messages and the “sharing this message to so many people would give you a good life” messages. This specimen is found to be deaf to pleas asking them to stop and is not capable of realizing their love life is not going to improve by sending so many forward messages to everyone in their contact list – rather the contrary.
#3 The Good-morning messenger
This person is the first person to say ‘good morning’ on every WhatsApp group you are on, no matter if someone responds or not. One can sense something is wrong with this person if they do not send their ‘good morning’ one day. Sometimes you feel like this person genuinely wants you to have a good morning, but sometimes you feel like this person has a sad life because all their ‘good morning’ recipients are on social media.
#4 The Add-back advocates
This is that dreaded person who adds you back into the blasphemous group every time you feel like you’ve had it and finally decide to get some peace and quiet. This person is obsessed with either maintaining the group-member count or is terrified of loss. Additional qualities to this person may or may not include embarrassing you in front of the whole group by asking why you left.
#5 The fighter cock
This person adds drama to every group and makes you want to grab a bowl of popcorn and sit in front of your phone, watching them argue about every meagre thing. This person takes offense at the drop of a hat and is very vocal about them having immense self-respect. This person has left every group they are on at least once, and over time people just learn to ignore their rants – to which they take offense too.